NINETY-EIGHT: Graceful Sleep

NINETY-EIGHT: Graceful Sleep

“I got to send Ricci a V-dot. She’s out of here,” Burton stopped. “How long you been hiding her here?”

“She’s been here a couple of weeks. I haven’t been hiding her.”

“How come I haven’t seen her?”

“You have. She’s been around. You’ve talked to her.”

“Nonesense.  I would’ve recognized her.  I mean, she looks rough but no one can over look that skin.”

The moon was in full glow now.

“Maybe not during the day,” said Jude.  He also wondered if she’d been skin dancing but didn’t dare mention it. He was concerned that he hadn’t seen her before now.  He had pretty much kept to the horse and hadn’t ventured out until that morning when he decided to walk around the farm for the first time since he’d gotten there two weeks ago.

“How long you say she’s been here?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Weeks!” he was beginning to panic. “I have not seen her until just now.  I’ll swear by it.”

“You had her slopping the pigs,” Jude was calm.

“I did no such thing!”

“Yes, you did,” said Jude. “Now, I think that’s something Ricci would like to know.”

“You wouldn’t. After all I’ve done for you.”

Jude was silent for a moment.

“You should remember, I work for Ricci, let me handle him. And the meantime, don’t send off any V-dots to Ricci.”

“It may not matter who’s nephew, son or whatever you are. And it may not matter that you’re Ricci’s spoiled little pet. If he doesn’t know she’s here -”

He looked around with a suspicious eye before continuing.

 “Do you think I was at that corner store every day by choice?” he smiled. “I’d rather be here than that stinking city. You’re not the only one who knows him. Ricci and I go way back.”

He stood looking at Arous again then turned to Jude.

“I’m not doing you any favors,” he said, then. “Ladoiselle Jellina will be here tomorrow.”

“What’s she coming out here for?” Jude seemed startled.

“What do I know? Heard that Ricci wasn’t too happy with you when you left,” then he smiled leaning into Jude. “Maybe Ricci already knows your girlfriend’s here.”

He turned to go, grumbling as he went. “Too bad she wasn’t killed in the earthquake. Fact, she’s Lunese? They don’t make the Graceful Sleep Laws for nothing.  Those laws should have been enforced when they first found her mother and none of this would’ve happened.  Though, she was a stunning woman.” Burton paused. Then his voice turned cold. “I heard the Mercy League went in there after the earthquake and helped out a bunch of the injured. They must not’ve found her. ”

The ensuing silence pulled Arous up to a sitting position.  The door cracked.

“Arous, are you awake?”

“The Mercy League?” Arous asked. “Aren’t the responsible for the Graceful Sleep laws?”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll all work out. I know,” said Arous.

“Jellina’s coming tomorrow.”

“Ricci and I . . .  we didn’t end on the best of terms,” said Arous.

“Neither did we,” said Jude. “Look.  Just stay here for the rest of today.  It’s about to storm and Burton won’t come back out here in the rain,” he smiled.  “It’s almost four. You slept all day.  You must have been -”

“Tired.  Yes, I was.”

She fell down on her back, the hay rustling under her body as it hit the floor.  Jude walked over and began to talk to her about his last day in the City.

NINETY-SEVEN: Hide

NINETY-SEVEN: Hide

 “Arous?” Jude asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I didn’t recognize you . . . are you ok?”

“It’s this outfit, it makes me look fat doesn’t it?”

He laughed.  “You’ve looked better.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Arous said.

“Burton is a friend of my father.  He owned all the corner stores in town. I work the stables here like I did back home with my grandfather. I was already here when -” he turned white. “How long have you been here?”

“A week or two. I don’t know. I wandered awhile north before I got here, maybe a week. It’s all running together. I can’t even remember who I am,” she said and looked up at him. “I’ve been sleeping in that nasty barn. What’s happened, Jude?”

“I don’t know.” His sentence faded into an awkward silence. “There is an empty stall in the horse stables. It is much warmer there and much cleaner. Let me help you.”

Jude led her into the horse stable. He showed her to a large bath where she could get cleaned up as he went about getting the birthing stall ready.  She reappeared for a long bath and he looked at her dumbfounded before smiling.  Before her skin was an ashy grey now she shone luminescent.

“That was a good disguise you had going,” he said. “You look like you could use some rest.  I’ll bring you something to eat later. I have to get back to work.”

“What about, Burton?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him. Work something out. You rest.”

“No, don’t tell him I’m here. Ricci can’t find me here.”

“Okay,” he said.

Jude threw some extra hay in the corner of the birthing stall and grabbed a clean blanket off the shelf outside.  As soon as she’d lain down, Jude threw the blanket on top of her and kneeling down he kissed her on the forehead.  He walked out shutting the stall door behind him.  As she snuggled into the warm, sweet hay, she could smell the spicy aroma of wood burning in the potbellied stove at the other end of the stable.  She pulled the blanket tighter till all she could just catch a whiff of the warm horses and hay.  She drifted off to sleep with Jude’s name on her lips.

Out of a stale dream Arous could distinguish two voices: a large, scratchy one and a strong, tenor.  She could not distinguish any words but knew their proximity to the stall. She rolled her head in the dry hay and tried to sink further down, to hide.  The rain had stopped.  As she got closer to the dawn of waking she identified the voices of Jude and Burton.

“Who is she?”

Jude was silent.

“You don’t know?” Burton asked.

“I would rather not say.”

“Then she must be in some kind of trouble,” Burton said. “She looks familiar. Where’ve I seen her before?”

Arous felt someone standing in the door way, a shadow fell across her.  She heard Burton gasp.

“She’s the daughter of that Lunese woman isn’t she?”

Jude didn’t respond.

“I’ll V-dot Ricci, let him know she’s here,” said Burton.”

NINETY-SIX: Tea time

What’s stunning about this whole thing is that everything that Arous ever wanted to know about her mother, the Diofe had told her.  The thing that was missing was the what-could’ve-been that wasn’t.  That’s why Arous had to find her mother.  She thought then that she would know what-could’ve-been.  But you can never know that.

As Aclarid, I can see what is churning in that mind, in that spirit of his, if he lets me in. But I don’t have to know to obey. Her departure hurt him yet I know it has not changed him. In all my years, my existence, I have never seen one shade of change in him. I know that Diofe does not, cannot be other than what he is.  Oh, he’s done the unexpected but it surprised me because I didn’t know him, not because he evolved. The Diofe doesn’t advance or change: he changes us. He grows us up.

One Spring twelve years earlier sticks in my mind.

It was a warm afternoon in late spring. I was walking past the playroom when I heard voices: a child’s voice and a woman’s voice. It was the woman’s voice that stopped me because it sounded familiar but I could not place it.  The door was cracked so I looked in to appease my curiosity.

“One for you, and one for me.”

It was Arous.

“I will pour your tea, mommy.  How many lumps of sugar would you like?”

“I’ll take three please,” I heard the woman respond.

“Me, too,” said Arous delighted.

I leaned in a little closer to see Arous at the table. She had just finished pouring the tea for the seat across from her and now was pouring tea into the dainty cup in front of her.  The seat across from her was empty.

“Like mother, like daughter,” said the woman’s voice again.

However, this time, I saw that it was Arous speaking for herself and her imaginary . . . mother. The Diofe walked up behind me.

“Diofe, Arous is going to grow into quite Skin-Dancer.  She sounds just like a twenty-something woman. Listen. She’s having tea with her mother.”

The Diofe leaned into the door, touching it with his hand. The door swung open making the tiniest creak. Arous looked around and up, smiling at the Diofe standing in the door.

“Don’t let me interrupt sweetie.”

Her smiled glowed and she turned back around.

“Arous, darling, this is the loveliest tea in the world. You steeped it perfectly. Earl Grey is my favorite,” Arous said her in mommy’s voice.

“Thank you, mommy. It’s mine, too.”

“Arous, why don’t you have the Diofe join us,” said mommy voice.

“Why certainly,” she turned around, “Daddy, come play with me. I’m having tea with Mommy.”

The Diofe glided into the room. He was always the same in essence and he was always the same in appearance, sort of. Sometimes you might notice one of the attributes more than another.  These personalities always floated over each other.  Sometimes, people saw what they wanted to see, sometimes what they needed to see or, like most of the time, what they could see. Those who could see him for what he was in the beginning outside the first glance of man, saw him in his pure form. That form was tall with skin of hot melted bronze and long white hair and fire for eyes. I saw him this way mostly; it kept me in check. But, now, as he floated into the room I saw him as Arous saw him, skin deepening to the color of comforting and soothing night. His youth shone, his eyes sparkled black and his mouth softened. His hair fell in long braids down his back with soft, curly whips framing his face. He softened all over, he embodied nurture, patience, warmth: he was mother.

“Arous,” he called to her in a deep, rich, voice of a mother, “I am sorry that your mother can’t really be here.  How do you feel about that?”

“I miss her.”

“Yes, you do,” he said.

“I don’t even know her.”

“I know. I wish you could know her.”

“I want to more than anything daddy, more than anything,” said Arous.

There was silence for a few minutes. Tears welled up in Arous’ eyes. The Diofe waited patiently for the next question that he knew was coming.

“Will I ever see my mommy?”

“I’m sorry but I can’t answer that, sweetheart.”

“But you know everything daddy. You are Diofe.”

“That’s true.”

She looked at him. The Diofe smiled.

“Would you like some tea, daddy?” she asked.

“Yes, that would be lovely.”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweet?”

“Will you tell me about my mommy?”

“Of course I will, my sweet Arous.”