ONE HUNDRED-TWO: Run

ONE HUNDRED-TWO: Run

She realized that she was trembling.  She knew she’d have to leave soon, maybe even without Jude, now it was imperative.

Arous sensed something in Jellina’s eyes.

“What’s going on?” asked Arous.

“Nothing.  Jude and I were having a little talk,” said Jellina.

That’s when she realized it. Arous felt sick to her stomach: Jellina had changed. She was Jellina on the outside. She talked like Jellina but her eyes were, different. Cold. Sparkly.  Arous was walking toward those eyes without even realizing it. She was closer than she wanted to be.

“I’m so glad to see you again,” said Jellina.

Both of the girls stared at each other.  Jellina squeezed her hand; Jellina’s hand was warm and moist. Jude stood there stunned.

“Look, sweet,” said Jellina. She’d never called Arous that. Arous wanted to throw-up but she could place it now. Jellina sounded like Ricci; he was her puppet master and she was just an empty shell.

“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Jellina reached out to hug Arous.  It was like hugging a dead body pulled from the warm Alippiana river, just not as bloated or mushy. Jellina walked away.  They both watched her walk away until she was gone.

“I have to leave,” said Arous.

“I know,” said Jude. “Give me just two more days to get ready. We’ll leave together.”

“No,” said Arous. “Right now.”

“You can’t,” he said.

“What?” said Arous.

“You can’t.  I almost have things worked out. For you and me.”

“I have to go home, Jude.  I can’t stay here.”

There was a moment of silence. Jude grabbed her hand. It was so warm that she wanted to melt there.

“You heard, didn’t you?”

Arous didn’t say anything. She was too scared to confess. The fact that she was afraid of Jude made it hard to breathe.

“I can’t explain,” Jude was pleading with her now. “I want to escape as much as you do.”

“I have to go. Now.”

“Wait. Just two days.”

“Ricci could be here in two days,” said Arous. “I can’t wait Jude.”

She wondered if he was waiting on something, or if he was just stalling for Ricci. She couldn’t believe it, not after everything. Would he choose Ricci over her?

“It’s just, a few details,” he said but wouldn’t look at her.

She let go of his hand and started to back away.

“No,” Arous was whispering now, choking out her own need to breathe. “Not you too?”

 “It’s not what you think,” said Jude, grabbing Arous’ arm.

“It’s not?” Arous was still backing away the full length while he had hold of her arm. 

“You can’t leave me. Not now,” he said.

“I have to go home,” she said.

“Please, Arous.” Jude’s grip tightened.  “We’ve been through so much.”

Jude. Was there any other way to say it? She stayed because there was a need, a need to be loved, a need to be held; she couldn’t go back without him. But now she wasn’t so sure that he wasn’t part of it all from the very beginning. If she asked would she have to tell him the whole truth about Siobhan, Ricci, and about Simon? Maybe he already knew.  Maybe he knew it all because he was the one who had made it all happen. The doubt had been planted by him, after all.

“Let me go Jude.”

She wrenched her wrist from his grasp.  He lunged for her, tripping, hitting the stable floor hard.  She began to back away from him.

“You don’t understand,” he sputtered.

“I want to go home” said Arous. “I want my Daddy.”

She felt a shimmering lightness radiate from her heart and electrify her whole body.

Arous.

It was his voice calling her.  She could hear him now.

Arous, sweet.

She’d know that voice anywhere.

“Daddy.”

Jude was getting up He made a move to grab her again.

She remember Edlawit.  They were playing in the yard.  Edlawit was teaching her to fight, teaching her to take her opponent down.  They were eight and nine.

“Kick him here,” she said, showing Arous on the straw dummy. “Where it counts. It will take him down.”

“Kick him, Arous.”

She kicked him at the pressure point just below the knee and he hit the ground. He yelled in pain.

“I’m sorry, Jude,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I-“

Run!

She darted from the stable to the edge of the forest, she could hear desperate cries of her name echoing through the trees, repeated by the leaves.  She didn’t look back.

            She ran chasing thoughts of home that she imagined was before her. The weeping willows, the oak lined drive; a man, a friend, Miguel, me, standing on the front porch with a vision of her and a dream and Spring full-on dancing through the fields.